Last week I was lucky enough to get tickets to the London Premiere of Below The Belt, a fantastic documentary about the experience of living with endometriosis. I was already convinced that this would be an emotional experience - a room filled with those affected by the condition directly or via a loved one. The stage was set for tears.
What I didn’t realise was how much it would bring up for me in terms of acknowledging the awful days with the condition. For those that don’t know, I started having symptoms of debilitating abdominal pain while on my period at age 16, I was told by my GP that some women just live with more pain and that I should take more pain killers, this didn’t warrant further investigation.
For years - literally over a decade - I just thought that I was somehow weaker than others, because I couldn’t cope with periods without fainting, throwing up and being bed bound. What was WRONG with ME?
My origin story of becoming a registered nutritionist/ nutritional therapist is actually related to experiencing burnout in my twenties, however, having an underlying chronic pain condition no doubt contributed to this. Physical pain is incredibly stressful for the body. It was only during my Second Year of studying for my nutrition qualification, getting to the women’s health lectures, that I realised there are others that experience what I do and that I needed to push for an endometriosis investigation.
Age 30 - 14 years after my first symptoms, I had my laparoscopic surgery and endometriosis diagnosis. The validation was unreal, there literally WAS something happening in my body that meant the pain was worse. It wasn’t in my head, more ibuprofen wasn’t going to help, I’m not “weak”.
Back to the documentary - the images of others being in severe pain, feeling their agony - it took me right back to those many times in my life where I was completely incapacitated and wondering if it was possible to die from pain. Nothing has ever so powerfully caused me to flashback. Normally my memories would downplay how severe the pain is - I’ve always assumed this is some sort of survival mechanism. Seeing it play out in front of me I realised that I will never be able to find the words to describe that experience to someone who hasn’t been through it. So few people have seen me in that state - at my most physically vulnerable and in that moment I felt so much sadness for the younger version of me who was so incredibly alone in that experience.
I am one of the lucky ones - after my surgery I made some hugely significant lifestyle changes, which I responded really well to, now I manage through nutrition + lifestyle modifications. I am VERY strict on the level of stress in my life, when I’m not, I do find I have to hit up the ibuprofen again. Lockdown was particularly hard and the immune challenges of the last couple of years have definitely taken their toll. I just want to encourage everyone to watch Below the Belt, it had a huge impact on me and I hope it will be a significant turning point in the movement to understand and improve women’s health issues globally.
Ioana Marinca and me at the Premiere at Everyman Borough Yards